#31

A little Cinco de mayo history...

Literally "the Fifth of May," Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican Holiday celebrating the Battle of Puebla Battle, which took place on May 5, 1862. In 1861, France sent a massive army to invade Mexico, as they wanted to collect on some war debts. ( Damn debt collectors, they’re relentless). The French army was much larger, better trained and equipped than the Mexicans struggling to defend the road to Mexico City. It rolled through Mexico until it reached Puebla, where the Mexicans made a valiant stand, and, against all logic, won a huge victory. It was short-lived, as the French army regrouped and continued; eventually taking Mexico City, but the euphoria of an unlikely victory against overwhelming odds is remembered every May fifth.

So now that you know the history behind Cinco de mayo, let’s talk about my Cinco De Mayos. My favorite memory of this special day, Was a few years ago when I had just moved to Hawaii. My parents were down visiting and we had heard a rumor about there being a huge celebration downtown Waikiki, and the best part, there was a massive chihuahua parade.

   So my parents Dan and I were off in search off 100s of Mexican chihuahua parading down the street. Being new to the island we wern't exactly sure where to go so we wondered the hot streets trying to hear a mariachi band.  Now let’s remember what I looked like when I left for Hawaii. I was a Bigger girl and wondering around looking for a dog that resembled a sexy rat wasn’t something I was really into. But we searched and searched and never found the celebration, What were the Frescura’s to do … Well somehow my mothers internal GPS landed us at the Ala moana center… A huge  shopping mall down the street from my apartment. That’s right, it’s real shocking that my mother found shopping and booze!!!!!We celebrated in our own way with shopping, margaritas and dinner at Bubba gimp shrimp restaurant. Where my mother the idiot savant got every trivia question in the restaurant right and then asked if she gets a prize?! Yeah the prize is, you sit here and people bring you food and then you get to pay for the food… Congratulations!!! 

   HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO

 

#32

YOUR ADVICE IS NEEDED!

  I realized that I'm getting older, I'm not happy about it but I'm dealing with it the best I can. With age comes wisdom, I'm not that old that i can say I'm wise but I am old enough to learn that your mothers advice is usually right, and that the generations before you are there to help and guide you along the way.

   As I'm aging things that I have always been against are becoming something that I can't wait for. Having kids is something I have always said I don't want. But It's true there is a material clock and everyday it ticks louder and louder. Getting married has never been that important to me, I loved my sister's wedding it was gorgeous, fun and perfect but I felt let down the next day, like all that work just for one day. It didn't seem like something I wanted. I had decided on running off to Italy with close friends and family and getting married one day throughout the week. Whatever day everyone was tired of seeing tourist spots. I was never the little girl playing pretend in the backyard of what my wedding was going to be.

   But just like the baby thing, getting married and having a great wedding has become important to me. The more I look though wedding magazines and online sites the more I want and the more I want things my way on that day. The more excited I get for my bridal shower, not for the gifts but to see everyone and play actual fun games and just have a good time with all the women in my life who have supported me and cared for me though out the years. I get excited for my bachelorette party, not that I want to go out bar hopping with penis straws but to take off for a weekend with the women in my life, family friends aunts honorary aunts cousins, the women in my life who have helped me get to the alter, somewhere i never thought i would be.

   The more and more I think about my wedding the more I want to get married on New Years. A new years wedding is something my sister recommended, An idea I have fallen in love with. New Years is already a great party and my wedding can be all about the bling! My sister and I usually don't agree on too much and don't get along so well, we have a relationship more like Tom and Jerry then sisters. But once i mentioned my wedding to her she really stepped up. Giving me ideas and telling me she would go wedding dress shopping with me and to the designers and so on and so on because my mom is quite busy these days with the building of her house. (I'm not dissing my mom by any means).

  I know that I'm lucky and if i showed up in Windsor with a box of unassembled invitations and a case of wine, my wedding invitations would be ready to go out that Monday. The address might be a little slanted or messy as the night goes on and the wine disappears, but they would be done! I have great people in my life who I know are there for me and are all too happy to help getting me down the isle.



   The big question is... IS THERE ENOUGH TIME TO PLAN MY WEDDING BY NEW YEARS EVE? It has to be this new years, This new years is on on a Monday so it gives people the weekend off to travel in case of bad weather. It also makes my wedding feel like it`s on a long weekend.
I look forward to any and all advice. Thanks Ladies :)

 

#33

EASTER 2012

    Thursday night, I was up till 4 am. I was packing baking and cleaning. I was so excited that I was going to Windsor the next day to visit my family I couldn’t sleep. It was like Christmas eve for me. I had my bags packed and this time I only had 3 small bags which for me is a big improvement.

   I had the dogs food and toys packed and their seat belts ready to go to grandpas farm for the weekend.

 THEY LOVE LOVE LOVE GRANDPA

   I started early in the day and made from scratch a clone of a Cinnabon. I made 5 dozen cinnamon buns. Enough for Dan’s parents my parents my younger cousin who I know could have personally ate a few dozen to himself, a few for friends my aunts and my little nephews. It took me all day and night but they were PERFECT! I have to admit I think the recipe I found was better then Cinnabon. I know that’s a big statement to make but I made 5 dozen and two days later there was only 3 cinnamon buns left in my house. Yes it’s just Dan and I here. That’s all I’m going to say.

  So feeling confident that everything was ready to go I went to bed around 4 am. At 6 am I woke up in excruciating pain. Dan had just got home and came up to see what the commotion was about. To make a long story short, we went to the hospital just to be on the safe side. When we got there I was given an IV and some pain killers and talked to the doctor. All I really remember is me telling the Doctor “If it’s not to much trouble I have to be out of here by noon so I can make it to dinner”. That didn’t happen it was almost noon before I got in for my X-Ray. Once they confirmed that I had dislocated my jaw, they told me that once they popped it back it I would feel much better but they had to wait until another doctor was in, at the time I didn’t understand why. 

  Finally the “other” doctor was there and a nurse came in and gave me a shot of something. At the time I didn’t care what it was I just wanted to get out of there I had a dinner to get to.  Whatever was in that shot was … well let’s just say I don’t remember much and I didn’t care about what was about to happen.

I don’t remember much of what happened but this is what Dan tells me. The new doctor came in talked to me told me he was going to pop it back in place and then I would feel better. I remember him trying and trying but he couldn’t get my jaw back in place. He gave me a “rest” and then came back with two other doctors. This I remember. I remember someone holding me down and the doctors pushing and pulling trying to get my jaw back in place. It hurt like hell, and if someone wasn’t holding me down I would have been out of there.

Finally my jaw was in place and I felt better almost immediately, I was stoned from all the drugs but I felt better. By the time we got home it was after dinner. We had missed visiting with both our families we thought about going down the next day but were a little worried about this happening again, and me talking to much when I see my family. So we stayed home and rested with our puppies. That was my Easter this year, Not as good as last Easter but that’s a whole different story. 

 HIGH AS A KITE AND APPARENTLY TRYING TO DO AN EASTER GANG SING?!

READY TO GO HOME!

#34

I must be getting old

   So i went shopping today, I didn't really need anything but i was feeling pretty well and thought i would get out. My last stop was at Wal Mart to pick up a few things. I was so attracted to the new spring/summer clothes. Apparently this summer is all about bright colors and I love it! while i was looking for something nice and bright to wear to a "name party" this weekend, I must have stumbled into the "teen" area is what I think they called it. If it was up to me i would have a big sign calling it "Street walker wear". This is an outfit they had for sale for the "teens".

That is a shirt, not a bathing suit top or a bra. That is a shirt!

    I know that I'm getting a little bit older and probably a little more modest in what i wear with age. But really, I never wore a "shirt" like that. It wouldn't even cover a nipple of mine, I can't believe this is what is at your local Wal Mart for teens. Shirts that cover the bare minimum and shorts that show bum cheeks. Wow I must be getting older.

  

#35

YOU HAVE TO PASS A TEST TO DRIVE A CAR 

BUT ANY IDIOT CAN BE A PARENT!

   Today’s blog is a little different, usually my blogs are light hearted and humorous.Today’s blog is the total opposite. I like to consider myself “blissfully ignorant”. I know who’s in office; I know about current affairs, I’m not ignorant… I’m blissfully ignorant. Meaning that I know what’s going on, but I don’t take too much time to really think about how much debt Canada is in at the moment, I don’t talk about politics, religious beliefs or the meaning of life. It’s not because I wasn’t brought up religious or believing in a higher power it’s not because I can’t form my own opinions it’s because everyone has their own beliefs and who am I to say being catholic is the  only way to go or that the Americans should not have re-elected Bush. hehe I know what’s going in the world but I don’t let it consume my life. An example is, I know where Beef comes from it’s a cow and Veal is from a cow calf, but when I’m eating a cheeseburger I don’t sit at the table and tell everyone about the inhumane way the animals were probably killed or how there’s theories out there about how cow farts are destroying the ozone layer. I shut up and blissfully ignorantly eat my cheeseburger.

   Today started out the same as every other day, woke up with migraine, brushed teeth and made coffee. As I sat half asleep in front of the TV a CNN news anchor talked about the tornado's in Texas and how unbelievable it was that so far no one has been reported seriously injured or killed. Up next after the commercial break was “a story that you won’t believe”. So I stayed glued to the TV to see if I would believe it, I’m quite gullible  sometimes, I’ll believe a lot.

  CNN was right, I couldn’t believe the story I was hearing. Here’s a link or two about the story.

 LINK: http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/15/health/california-forced-sterilizations/index.html?iref=allsearch

   I love the part where they talk about Hitler being impressed with the program and asking for a “how to manual”. It’s just a small belief of mine; If Hitler was impressed with something you were doing… There’s a problem!

 

Seriously, What's wrong with you?

   I’m not saying I agree with this at all, on the other hand I’m also not totally against it. I don’t feel it’s right to sterilize someone because they are unemployed or come from a poor family. But working at the pawn shop we see a lot of different people from totally different walks of life. And I can say that some people should not be parents. Children’s aid society has taken away their kids and will take away any kids these “parents” have in the future. And that I agree with, some people should not be parents. On the other hand I went to school with girls who became pregnant at a young age, one of these girls went on to become a horrible mother, doing drugs and drinking all the time while her child is in the next room. She because so stoned/drunk one night that while she was having a party her son was crying in his crib. When she finally went to check on him, he had got his arm caught in the bars of his crib while he was trying to climb out; he fell and broke his arm. His “mother” put him back in his crib and let him cry. It wasn’t until the next morning when she had sobered up that she realized her son had broken his arm. These people should not be allowed to be parents.

   On the other hand I went to school with another girl who was pregnant when she was 15 and gave birth at 16. She turned out to be a wonderful mother. She gave up her social live and her freedom to raise her child. She went to school full time and worked a part time job to provide for her and her son. Her son is now in high school and he’s a great little guy. He’s a popular A+ student; he’s so polite and funny. He works hard in school and wants to become a Doctor. His mother finished high school and went on to becoming a Registered nurse and works in the neonatal intensive care unit. She and the father of her son got married a few years ago and they have a daughter who is around 3 now.  Two totally different outcomes.

   Anyways that is my small rant about how the government we put our trust in, the people who make our laws and regulations, are just as wrong and messed up as the next guy. And why I don’t follow politics. If I want to hear make believe stories from people who lie and are only out for themselves, I would watch keeping up with the Kardashians.

#36

Hair there everyhair

part II

   Now that we have talked about the hair on my head, Lets venture into body hair. Yeah that's right I said BODY HAIR. It's no surprise that coming from NORTHERN ITALY i was a hairy person.
Hair grows everywhere on the external body except for mucous membranes and glabrous skin such as that found on the soles of the hands, feet, and lips. THANK GOD!

Let's start at the begging. Grade 6 Mrs.Lee's gym class. Being as hairy as i was gym class wasn't so much fun. I came out of the change room in my blue school shorts ready for gymnastics class and all i could think was "I hope my leg hair doesn't get stuck to the Velcro holding the mats together. After that day i went home and again made a plea to my mother to let me shave my legs. I can remember my mom saying something along the lines of "your too young, you don't need to shave its just baby peach fuzz." I pulled up my pant legs and showed her the "peach fuzz". My mom walked away without saying a word and came back into the kitchen with a razor. Up to the bathroom we went for me to get my first lesson on shaving. Only shave up, watch the ankles, never shave dry and don't go up far beyond the knee or you will have to shave all the way up the rest of your life. ( That rule only lasted till i started dating.)
I shaved my legs for the first time and without too much blood shed. I was so happy to be growing up and looking less like a monkey.

Next on the list were my monkey arms, my mom always said oh theres nothing wrong with them they arnt that hairy. Then we had a wedding to go to as a family and i had bought sleeveless dress. finally my mom took me to the mall and had my arms waxed. I had always remembered aunt Marilyn telling me "NEVER SHAVE YOUR ARMS." So i went and had them waxed.

   Next on the list of De-monkey-ising, My eyebrows. The word uni brow was probably made up because of me, I used to have these eye browns that looked like caterpillars crossing my face. So something had to be done about that. At first i would go to the mall and have them waxed but no one would ever wax them thin enough for me. So I decided i would go to shoppers drug mart and get those at home kits that you heat up in the microwave. (I DO NOT RECOMMEND THEM.)
The first time or two i used it, it worked OK it got the job done, Then I was in a rush one day. I threw the stuff in the microwave heated it up and ran into the bathroom to wax my eyebrows. I put a large dab on, maybe the size of a nickle. AND IT WAS HOT, so hot that it burned my face. It took layers of my skin off. there was a nasty looking red and bloody burn/hole on my face right in the middle of my eyebrows. It looked like my third eye had an accident.
It took several weeks for that mistake to heal. Once it did I was beyond nervous to wax my eyebrows again to say the least. So I called in my mom for help. (What was I thinking?!)




I showed my mom the wax and the strips and the how its meant to be used. She gave me a little attitude telling me that she used to do this with Nana and my aunts all the time. She knew what she was doing! So I closed my eyes and let my mom start up the waxing process. My mother, trying to reinvent the wheel though wouldn't it be smart if we put the wax on the wax strip and then put it on the eyebrow  and rip the strip off. i said sure however you want to do it. THEN just as she was about to place this strip full of wax over my entire left eyebrow something clicked and i thought, this doesn't seem right.Thank god I stopped her otherwise i would have had to draw my eyebrow on with a magic marker and start hanging out with the Latino girls at school.

After that you would think my mother would stay away from doing eyebrows, but her  next victim had no choice. My poor father.
Now I wasn;t here to witness this event but this is what i hear from my father. My parents were getting ready to meet Cassandra Jim Dan and I at Michael's on the themes when my mother noticed my father needed to be Man - scapped. So she got out her scissors tweezers and a comb. Again from what my father said, she started cutting and tweezing like Edward scissorshands, there was hair flying everywhere being cut and plucked and then my mom said OOPS. Naturally my dad asked "what OOPS? No oops!!!!" my mother being her tried to cover it up and say its not that bad.... BUT it was. Somehow she had taken off the whole middle of his eyebrow. He looked as though he was just initiated into a gang.
I tried to get a pic of his missing eyebrow but he wouldn't let it happen.

 The eyebrows provide some protection to the eyes from dirt, sweat, and rain. More importantly, they play a key role in non-verbal communication... I guess my mom didn't want him communicating.

#37

Hair, there, EveryHair!

Part One

   As many of you know I once went to hairdressing school.  I loved colouring my hair and always wanted to do something new with my hair. While I was at hairdressing school my hair looked like this…

It was shortly after my sister’s wedding and I loved the colours in my hair but I was getting bored of it. At the time the “IN” thing was to do the top of your hair dark and the underneath blond. That wasn’t for me, but I decided that I could keep the blond that was in my hair and turn the red into a dark brown/ blackish colour. I asked one of the girls who was in the class ahead of me. Knowing that she was only a few weeks from graduation she had to be able to fill this simple request.

This is how my hair came out. Yes that is green orange red purple and pretty much every other colour under the rainbow in there. Needless to say I purchased a hat on the way home and the next day my teacher at the school told me she damaged my hair so much that the only thing we would do was to dye it a dark colour and wait for my hair to get healthier again… That was rough!

  I have pretty much always had long hair. I’ve like the look of short hair but I felt being a bigger girl and having a short hair cut would make me look butch. I can remember when I was little taking my bath putting on my nightgown and sitting on the patio step while my mom trimmed my hair. Ahhh summer when you were a little kid, so amazing and magical!

 When I was in my teens, I went to the store and bought one of those at home colour bleaching kits. I sectioned off a 3 inch chuck of my hair on the bottom and put the bleach in. The idea was when I put my hair in a pony tail I could wrap the blond hair around the ponytail holder. Well I was in my teens and with my friends. We were restless and decided we would go for a quick walk and pick up some … hummm …. Medicinal marjaunia. Well when we got to where we were going we took our medication and got so stoned that I forgot all about the tinfoil in my hair surrounding the bleach. After our fun night out I woke up the next morning wondering why there was tin foil in my hair. It quickly hit me! I sprung up jumped over sleeping bodies on the floor and made a bee line for the bathroom mirror. I unwrapped the tin foil and paid. “Please God I will never smoke again if I still have my hair.” I pulled out the foil and so so lucky, I only pulled out a few strands of hair with it. My hair was still attached to my head. Very very blond and it felt like straw but it was still attached. I was so lucky!!!!

   You think I would have learned how precious my hair was after that incident. Even though I loved and protected my hair. My mom hasn’t always been my biggest hair fan. When I was younger and still living with my parents I was awaken to my mom yelling throughout the house. The yelling was getting louder as she neared my room. Finally the door flew open and she shouted ``I`m cleaning this house and I`ll be vacuuming in 5 minutes so if your S*it isn`t picked up off the floor I`m going to vacuumed it up and throw it out``.   I figured she was just being an upset mother who was sick of picking up after her family and getting no help, I assumed she would calm down so I went back to sleep. ( I know what a little bitch) Soon after I fell back asleep my bedroom door slammed open and in came my mother with her 1970 Sears powerhouse vacuum leading the way. As soon as I heard the power bar to the vacuumed clinging and clunking as it was trying to digest whatever it was my mom had just sucked up, I heard the hose clog and then that sound that you never want to hear, whoosh your possession being sucked though the hose and down into the… well whoever stuff goes when it gets sucked into the vacuumed.

After that I quickly jumped out of bed to save the rest of my stuff which I will admit, Almost everything I owned was on my bedroom floor. I was quickly grabbing things out of the way of the sears eater as my mom was almost smiling when she was about to suck something up then the smile disappeared  until she set her eye on the next item she could suck up. Then she said 6 little words. ``I’m Vacuuming under the bed too``. I quickly laid on the floor and reached for anything and everything I could under my bed while my mom rushed around my room to see what she could suck up. Then it happened…

  

   As i was laying on the floor reaching under my bed, my mother vacuumed over my hair with the beater bar and sucked up my hair. I started screaming which made my mother scream. The vacuum cleaner was making so much noise that neither of us could hear each other, my mother was yelling at me to pull my hair out and i was yelling at her to turn it off but none of that got across to the other. Finally my mom shut it off. She was laughing so hard so could barley ask if i was ok. Now my hair was one big mess all tangled up in the vacuum. I think we were both stunned and unsure how we were going to fix this problem. Once there was talk of cutting it out i began pulling and ripping my hair out of the vacuum cleaner. When I was done it looked as though I was getting ready for an 80s concert. It took forever to get all the knots out And I would like to say it taught me a lesson about keeping my crap picked up ... but it didn't.

I’m not sure why girls spend so much time in the 80s teasing their hair. Just get a vacuumed and a fed up house wife.


Bored with my hair again. What Do you think I should so with it. Don't forget I only have a few months left in my 20's :( so sad!!!!!!