Friday, 28 October 2011



    With the holiday season approaching fast it makes me reminisce about the past years. I think about the Christmas the whole family got cross country skis. (that we used only a hand full of times, we were not the most athletic family and once my mother realized how cold the sport was that was it for the skis.) I think about the Christmas Max had more gifts then he could even open. But its not just Christmas i think about, I have very FOND memories of thanksgivings too. There was the year Cassandras new born baby was hit in the head with a bun, and the year Shelby dove into aunt Marilyn's pond. The year we all drank a little too much and thanksgiving dinner became a "help yourself buffet." Every year aunt Marilyn puts on a great thanksgiving and its never boring. Though this year due to my blog no one would get tipsy in front of me and everyone seemed to remind me why they were all behaving and it was because they didn't want to end up being a part of my blog.

   So I will take the hit, and tell you a true story about my thanksgiving last year on 10-10-10. This wasn't our usual thanksgiving dinner at aunt Marilyn's with the turkey and ham and the mashed potato's with Alex's cake for desert. This year we had a wedding to go to. Jimmy and Ann Kozak are long time friends of my parents and there daughter Joanna is my dad's god daughter, so it was important that we were there at Joanna's wedding.

   A few days before the wedding my mother sister and I all talked about what we were going to wear, suits to the church or dresses? Short or long dresses to the reception? how we were going to do our hair who was driving, so on and so on. After getting off the phone i looked though my dresses and realized i had a Jessica Simpson dress that still had the tags on it and i hadn't worn yet. I bought the dress when i was living in Hawaii and bought it a few sizes too small so i had a goal dress. I took the dress out of the closet fell in love with it all over again and tried it on. I laid on the bed, i sucked "it" in, i used a coat hanger to pull on the zipper i did everything i could to get this dress done up. After several minutes of Dan pulling up on the zipper and me pushing and pulling and sucking everything i could in, I realized this wasn't going to work.

    The next day I bought a new dress in the appropriate size and figured that was the dress i would wear to the wedding. My friend heather came over to see my new dress and while she was there she told me she could let the black dress i bought in Hawaii out and it would fit no problem. I was so excited i didn't even ask questions. A few days later Heather came over with the dress looking perfect and fitting great, it was a little tight in the bum area but, meh it was a hot looking dress i had to wear it.

   The day of the wedding came and i wore a suit to the church and came home in between the church and reception to get changed. i put on my make up i did my hair and i slipped into my little black dress.
The reception was great, the food was amazing i ate something called borchet which is an amazing beat soup i danced the Greek dances, i had a few drinks and i laughed, until the time came to catch the bouquet.

    I should give you some background information on me and the bouquets. Every wedding I go to, I catch the bouquet for some reason. It may be because I'm a little aggressive, it might be a sign that i should get married or its just pure luck/bad luck. Either way that bouquet is always mine!
Getting Ready at Cassandra's wedding

It's Mine!

   When it came time to gather up for the toss, i was right there, for some reason i was in the back of the group and realized with all these single women here i didn't have a chance. The single men at the wedding were gathering up behind the women waiting for the bouquet toss to be over so they could fight for the garter belt. I was being pushed back and forth and doing my fair share of pushing as well and then it happened. Joanna threw the bouquet and it was on. I pushed and jumped into the air reaching for this rose bouquet. I felt it in my hand and then i was pushed from behind and it fell to the floor in slow motion. I watched it hit the floor as if it were an irreplaceable glass vase. before i knew what was going on, i was bent over reaching for the flowers. I felt them in my hand, another success and the bouquet was mine!!! And then I heard it... a big rip. It was the only sound i heard in this huge reception hall. I had riped my dress all the way from the bottom to my bra line. that's right my dress was totally split down the back. As embarrassing as that is you think the story would stop there... but it didn't. I quickly put my hands on my ass to make sure the rip had come from me and the breeze i was feeling on my ass was really because it riped and not because i tucked my dress into my thong. As its becoming clear to me what happened i turned around and realized that all the single men were standing behind me, shocked at what they were seeing. Some smiling some shocked with an open mouth some with a look of embarrassment for me.

   I quickly walked off the dance floor holding my dress together with my hands and went to find my mother, she was on the dance floor drinking... so she wasn't much help. Ann Kozak quickly came over to me and wrapped her shawl around my waist. thank god for shawls. Again you would think this is where it ended but nope. I remembered i had my long dress that i was going to wear to the wedding in my dads truck... what a life saver. I found my dad and asked for the truck keys so i could go get changed in the truck. He told me the number code to open the door to the truck because he let the keys in there so he didn't have to carry them around all night. I quickly walked out to the truck and pressed in the code. it didn't work. I did it again praying it would open but still nothing. I ran back to ask for the code again, my dad followed me out to the truck and spent 20 mins trying to get into the truck .... NOTHING! it wasn't working at all. So inside we go. tracked down Cassandra and got her keys took her van back to my parents house got moms keys from the house and then back to the hall to open the truck. I got changed in the back of the truck and thanked god that i had an extra dress. True story thankfully i don't have any pictures of it happening.

Friday, 21 October 2011


   First off I would like to apologize to my faithful followers I haven't been blogging much, I've been fighting the TMJ and losing. But today I opened a fortune cookie and my fortune read ...
So even though nothing new or exciting has happened to me lately i figured I should take the advice of the cookie and start writing.

 A quote from the movie The Switch...
Sebastian: Are you ever scared you could have Parkinson's disease?                                                              Wally: Not specifically Parkinson's disease but, I am not going to lie I have had my doubts of hypochondriac.                                                                                                               
Sebastian: What's that?                                                                                                                         Wally: That's thinking you have diseases that you don't really have.                                                       Sebastian: OMG I have that.

  last week I woke up with a blinding migraine which is usual for me so I wasn't too worried. It was still dark outside and there was a nip in the air. I reached for my house coat and put it on to keep warm. I stretched and yawned and glanced at the clock, it read 4:13 A.M. A little early but when you have nothing to do in a day time becomes irrelevant. I placed my feet on the floor and went to stand up, I fell to the floor with a loud thud. "Well that's new" I thought to myself, reaching up to the bed to steady myself I stood up again. Nope, it wasn't really working. I was leaning to the left as if I had just come ashore from a long tour at sea.
A little worried I did what any normal person would do I dragged my half dead body to the bathroom as fast as i could and pulled myself up to the vanity and smiled in the mirror. "Thank god, a normal smile, I'm not having a stroke."

     I stumbled back to the bedroom like a drunk person with a wooden leg and  woke up Dan. Telling him what was going on he politely asked me if I had been drinking or mixed my medications up.  After reciting the alphabet backwards and attempting to touch my nose he believed me that i wasn't drunk, but he didn't understand what I was talking about when I said I can't really walk and I'm leaning to the left. So up I got again and stumbled around the room hitting various things in the room and coming dangerously close to Dan's PS3 he finally said "oh yeah I see what your talking about I think we should go to the doctors."

   I agreed and did what we all do. I got on the Internet looked up my symptom and self diagnosed myself with an inner ear infection. I did what the "doctor" on the web site told me and took some anti-bio tics and went back to bed. Later that day I woke up with a stuffy nose and sore throat. It was official I had a COLD.
   Being around my nephews the week before sealed my faith. they had sneezed, coughed, chewed on my fingers and even threw up in my mouth a little.... I know it was so GROSS!!!!
But they are so cute.

 I sent Dan to the store to get me some cold medications to ride out the illness and he came back with Rexall brand nyquil. If you are a closet alcoholic it is fantastic, If you are cooking or baking and run out of zambucca it will work perfectly. If you are like me and hate zambucca it is not the stuff for you, It will make you throw up!

It's been a few days now and I am feeling a bit better. But if you are reading this and I was with you on thanksgiving... It wasn't me who got you sick I think we all know who the germ carrier here is...

How can you be mad at that face :)