#38

THE ANNOUNCEMENT



EVERYONE keeps asking when I'm going to have a baby. My younger cousin never fails to remind me that I am getting older and that each year that passes my chances of complications goes up. So I have decided that It will be soon. I am not getting any younger and everyone I know with a child says theres no good time to have a baby. You never have enough money, time or love.

Ever since I have seen this outfit I always knew I wanted to be pregnant in the winter time so i could wear this outfit all winter long. It's just a long knitted hoodie with a scarf. The Santa Clause is my favorite movies part one two and three. I probably watch one of them at least twice a month all year long.  ( and if my kids are born in the spring it works perfect with my sisters hands me downs from my nephews.)

   Once I find someone who can Knit this shirt and scarf then im going to start looking into having my first baby, So if you can Knit let me know :) Maybe by next year he/she will be here. :) Merry Christmas!

#39

BAH HUM BUG

   Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I watch Christmas movies all year round I keep my Christmas tree up all year and i always have a Christmas cd in my car.  I am a Christmas freak!!!!

   Usually I have great memories and stories to tell about my adventures of the holiday season, I walk around wearing my Christmas shirts and have a smile posted on my face. This is the true story that changed me from merry Christmas to bah hum bug.



   The other day i woke up feeling great (which never happens) no headache at all. I had a few more Christmas gifts to buy and a few errands to run. I started off with going to the bank, Rent was due the next day so i withdrew the rent and put it in my "make-up" bag that i always carry in my purse. Having that much cash I had always been taught to be smart about it and not put it in my wallet where people could see it if i was buying something.

  From the bank I went to the drug store and picked up my prescriptions and put them in my "make-up" bag as well. From there I travelled to the mall. What a mess! i drove around and around looking for a parking spot i even pulled a "grampa" and followed people from the mall to their cars. Finally I found a spot i put on my turn single and waited for the lady to get all her bags in the car belt in her kids fold up the stroller and make a phone call. Finally I had a spot, we each waved and i started to pull up. Just as I did some jerk raced in and stole my parking spot!!! We shared words and i drove off and looked for yet another parking spot.

    Finally I was out of my car and walking towards the mall, while walking and not paying attention i stepped in a puddle and got a soker. Yay nothing like walking around all day with wet feet. Still no big deal. It was the Holiday season and I was shopping for my loved ones.

  Once in the mall it was madness. Everyone was on the same mission, Get what you need and get out as fast as you can. I looked at a few things and ended up in Old Navy to get my nephews the coolest new shirts, they have a guitar on the front of the shirt and when the kids play the guitar it makes music. So i found their sizes and jumped in line. From there I waited and waited and waited finally it was my turn. I reached into my purse and noticed my "make up" bag was gone. I retraced all my steps and tore my car apart looking for it. But it was gone. While retracing my steps, Looking at everyone i passes with a scowl instead of a smile everyone i passes now became a suspect to me. It was a horrible feeling and only now am I writing about it, not because i can laugh about it but because I can think about it without my stomach turning into knots.

   Moral to the story, even though it's Christmas doesn't mean the thieves and pick pockets are taking a break. whoever walked away with my make up bag should have a merry and stoned Christmas. Here are some safety  tips i found that will hopefully make your Christmas safer.

• Dress casually and comfortably.
• Avoid wearing expensive jewelry. (Mom, Marilyn, Carol, Bonnie... Good Luck lol.)
  
• Do not carry a purse or wallet, if possible.
• Always carry your driver's license or identification along with necessary cash, checks and/or a credit card you expect to use.
• Even though you are rushed and thinking about a thousand things, stay alert to your surroundings.
• Avoid carrying large amounts of cash.
• Pay for purchases with a check or credit card when possible.
• Keep cash in your front pocket.
• Notify the credit card issuer immediately if your credit card is lost, stolen or misused.
• Keep a record of all of your credit card numbers in a safe place at home.
• Be extra careful if you do carry a wallet or purse. They are the prime targets of criminals in crowded shopping areas, transportation terminals, bus stops, on buses and other rapid transit.
• Avoid overloading yourself with packages. It is important to have clear visibility and freedom of motion to avoid mishaps.Check the backseat of your car before you enter.
  
• Beware of strangers approaching you for any reason. At this time of year, con-artists may try various methods of distracting you with the intention of taking your money or belongings.

I wrote this blog so everyone has a safe and happy holiday not for anyone to feel bad for me. S*it happens and this is one of those times.




Yes Mom, it was my fault some how and I know I'm to blame.

#40

E OH CAMELS

Technology and the mature mind!

   As certain family members get older I have noticed how they deal with technology. When my grandfather Frescura was still with us, he had an unusual fascination with phones. His living room was maybe a 15’ X 15’ room at most yet it wasn’t unusual for him to have 3 or 4 phones in that one room. There were lots of times when we would visit and my sister and I had to move phones and telephone wires just to sit on the sofa. As technology advanced my grandfather tried to keep up with the times and bought a clear phone in the 90s, you know the one that had a clear casing so you could see all the inner workings of the phone. That was about as high tech as he got. When the cordless phone came out, he wanted nothing to do with it, though you can’t blame him he did still use bunny ears to get his tv channels. 

   Another of my family members recently had to get a new cell phone due to water damage. As I sat across from said family member I watched as it took her 30- 40 minutes and 4 other family members to add one contact to said family members new phone.

   As my parents are maturing I often wonder how they will get along with new technology. So far they are doing pretty well with only a few hiccups in the road. Apparently my mom was never told that the new I-Phones weren’t waterproof when she put my fathers phone though the washing machine. ( Another family phone gone to water damage.)So she has set my father back in the technology era and has forced him to use his old cell phone that doesn’t allow him to text on. When my dad made the point that it was mom who destroyed his phone and she should give up her I phone to my dad she blamed the apple company and Steve jobs for not making them water proof, and my father for putting his phone in his pocket… What was he thinking?!

   Luckily my mom still has her I-Phone and can still text. LOL. I would like to share with you a little of the texting that goes back and forth from my mother and I. ( I feel as though I am breaking some sort of unwritten confidentiality rule between texters but I figure if you can’t laugh at your family then whats the point of having one.)

   To be able to understand any of this I should give you a little background information. My mother, father and I were in Windsor to support the Woodrich family as they had just lost a member of there family. My mother father and I went to the funeral and then proceeded onto the after …. Hummm not party? Maybe its called a wake? Anyways my parents had to leave to go do things for their new house and since someone better came along (Tony) my parents ditched me and allowed me to go to Bonnie's while we waited for Aunt Marilyn to tie up lose ends and return home . So this is the texting that went on between my mother and I that day.

MOM: Is ain’t Marilyn ok

ME: No shes crying and totally distraught.

MOM: What is wrong. I am so sorry that. I not there o will get back as soon as u can

ME: Shes upset that you left her in her hour of need

MOM: Tell her I will be there as soon as I cam I am sorry

ME: LOL I’m just screwing with you she is doing ok I would say.

MOM: I think he talk to he

MOM: O yelled at youir dad told him he could do this hself

ME: Oh sorry just messing with you, are you there

MOM: No I here

ME: Are we staying in Windsor for dinner people want to know

MOM: Yes I will yell aunt Marilyn I will bring jet ski a good bottle of wine to frost jane

ME: Well that sounds lovely

MOM: Tell aunt. Marilyn that O will come from dinner and I will bring some sausage for gambeling for MOM: dinner does she need anything else?

ME: LOL no I think that’s good.

MOM: E u there

…

MOM : Hey

…

MOM: Where r I

ME: Yes im here but im in the pool, floating around with a pina colada I love Windsor.

MOM: What do u mean I r

MOM: On the Pool?

MOM: Q

MOM: What e

MOM: E u wearing and wear is auntaeilun

ME: I mean im in Bonnies Pool im wearing a bathing suit and aunt Marilyn hasn’t come yet were still waiting for them.

MOM: Should I bring food to ninnies or auntarilynp

ME: I think bonnie is going to make dinner for everyone so that aunt Marilyn doesn’t have to cook or clean up after today.

MOM: Ok is it ok with her

ME: Ya Bonnie said that it is ok we can do dinner here for everyone.

MOM: Ok just buying booze store and

MOM: Then on

MOM :My way

ME: Ok see you when you get here.

MOM: 5:51 pm On ec row

MOM: 5:52 pm Is that ok

ME: Yeah I guess so its not my highway.

MOM: 5:53pm Dominion

MOM: 5:54 pm machete

MOM: 5:58 pm Bouchard

MOM: 6:01 pm I am herpes

ME: Lol yes I can see you, you are standing in front of me.

OTHER messages

MOM: I have your medications I pocked it up and put it my purse and didn’t give it to u

ME: Well that was nice. Would you keep insulin from a diabetic or play keep away with a prosthetic from a war amp?

MOM: What?

August 10^th 2011 11:49 AM

MOM: I text you this morning from Dad’s phone but I have not heard from you is everything ok?

12:19 PM

MOM: Is your phone out of order? You call me!!!!! I’m worried!!!!

ME: No I just checked my phone you never texted or called me today.

   When I lived in Windsor my mom used to call quite often to make sure I was doing ok being away from home and alone. It was sweet of her. The only problem is, if you don’t return my moms phone calls right away she threatens to call the police beuase she thinks someone has killed me over the night ( Way too much CSI). So mom used to call and leave messages of her yelling saying things like “If you don’t call me back by noon im calling the police this is your mother Ashley you call me I’m worried and I’m serious.”

These threats went on for a week or so, she kept calling and yelling at the answering machine. Until one day she actually listen to the answering machine, and in a very strict voice was a young lady saying “THIS IS NOT ASHLEY”S PHONE I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF HER MOTHER WOULD STOP CALLING AND YELLING AT ME THANK YOU!” That’s right my mother was calling another number and leaving messages about her missing daughter being in a ditch somewhere on the wrong answering machine.

When I moved to Hawaii she used to do the same thing and leave messages saying if I didn’t call her back in 24 hours she was going to call the police. But at the end of the message she would say “And if this isn’t Ashley’s phone… sorry.”

When I lived on my own in London and was not in the mood to talk to my mom because of whatever fight we were in at the moment I would screen my calls and let it go to the answering machine. She would leave messages saying “I know your there, your screening your calls you pick up the phone now or you’ll be sorry.” And sorry I was because she would just drive over to my house and my roommates always seemed to open the door and let her in. lol.

August 31^st 2011 11:16 AM

MOM: May e u and dan can help is o. Saturday with some stiff in the basement

ME: What do you mean there is a stiff in the basement? Who died?

September 2^nd 2011 3:36 PM

MOM: No I at the hairdresser u have to Melba ASAP

ME: Do you mean call Melba?

MOM: Call Melba at eraaaids office she is looking for I

 ME: Do you mean Call Melba at Dr.Persauds office?

September 8^th 2011 12:31PM

MOM: I made some really food sauce with meat last might so we can have pasta or I can add someones sausage and make polenta I can also pick up some prosciutto's and melon is like you that as well.

ME: Ok whatever is easy for you.

MOM: WELL O CAMELS

ME: No idea what well o camels means

September 12^th 2011 2:21PM
MOM: Ashley their flight has been delayed they are arriving at 5:00 so I do not expect to get to London much before 8:00

ME: Ok that’s pretty late not sure we will meet you in London tonight then.

MOM: No problem I will keep u fatso

MOM: Not sure what to say to that… thanks I guess.

October 17^th 1:43 pm

MOM:Hey tube you be interested in doing with me to our kids Xmas patae we can take max and qantho

ME: Sure anything with Santa clause I’m in.

I commend her for trying and I do have to admit that she has got A LOT better with her texting. It may be because Cassandra and I were laughing so hard reading her texts that she was a little put off. Or she has just got the hang of it. Either way I usually look forward to my mothers texts. 

#41

HORSE BACK RIDDING WITH MY NEPHEW

   This is my first nephew Max. He is so funny, I'm not sure how it works but he totally got my sense of humor. There is no better feeling for me then when he runs in the house excited to see me and gives me hugs and kisses. I can honestly say I love both my nephews so much i would without question lay down my life for them.  I now know how my aunt Marilyn, carol, honorary aunts Bonnie, and Anne feel about me. Wow they are so lucky to have me. :) 

   Trying to be a good aunt myself, I always make sure I'm never the one to tell Max he can't have or do something he wants. So when we were in Christmas town and max said "Auntie Ashley I want to ride the horsey" I was the first to say you got it buddy. I started digging though my pockets for two quarters while holding onto Max's hand and 10 shopping bags we started to walk towards the mechanical horse.

   That's when the Grinch came over, AKA my dad at Christmas town carrying all of moms shopping bags like a pack mule.

  Max looked up at his nono and said I'm going to ride the horse nono. For some reason this displeased the Grinch and in his grinchiest voice he said "No, you can't ride the horse." Max looked up at me with his bottom lip starting to quiver and again he said "Auntie I want to go on the horsey". I asked the Grinch why not, and his answer was the old  line of "because i said so, he doesn't need to go on that."  Shopping ALL day is so not my dads idea of a good time.

   After I distracted Max and stopped his crying we went into the stores looking for his mom. Max jumped into her arms telling her about the horse and how I said he could go on it but nono said no.


   "Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his heart was two sizes too small."

 Either way I continued my shopping and went into another store when i came out i found my family surrounding the mechanical horse. As i approached my them I could see though the crowd that Max was riding the horse with the biggest smile on his face and one hand in the air yelling "come on horsey". It appears as though the Grinch's heart was melted by little Max.

   Later when asked why he said no, My dad simply told me that he didn't have two quarters. Even though i had them in my hand. Again No one quite knows the reason. But the Grinch cheered up and we all had a great day! My dad even took the picture of me on the horsey. :) yee haw!

#42

LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW!

    I have one of the best Uncles, My Uncle Dave is by far my FAVORITE uncle. He has always listened to me to bitch about one thing or the other before quietly sneaking out of the room or answering a "phone call" that no one else in the room heard. When I first moved to Windsor the Woodrich family would always invite me over for dinner no matter what day of the week it was. Seeing as i was going to school and living on my own every meal that was cooked for me and free was amazing! Not to mention I have had some of the best meals of my life at their house such as crab legs, lobster bisque, the best BBQ sauce ever and so on. MMMmmMM Hungry thinking about it. When it was time for me to leave these family dinners (long after I had over stayed my welcome I'm sure) My uncle would always fill a very large popcorn bucket with left over food, granola bars, pastas, cookies and treats and lets not forget the all important... Toilet paper :) I don't think I ever bought toilet paper the whole time I lived in Windsor. My Uncle has always cheered  me, stood up for me and accepted me as his family, Even when he told me at the young age of 3(i think ) that he was going to marry my aunt and be my uncle. My response was "well until you get married I'm not going to call you my Uncle... oh dumb youth! and my big mouth. But I'm  thankful he is my uncle and one of my biggest supporters. .... Oh yeah back to my story...

   So I was speaking with my Uncle Dave the other night and we had a small debate over if it was going to snow before New Years. I say Yes. He says No. So we decided to put a small bet on it and once again my big mouth has got me into trouble because now I'm on the hook for $5.00. That's a lot of toilet paper.

Do You think it will snow before New Years? Don't forget to vote on the poll... on the right side of the page-->

#43

CHRISTMAS TOWN

   Every year my family makes the trip to Frankenmuth Michigan to go to Bronner's, the largest Christmas store in North America. While we are there we do some shopping and we stop to eat at Tony's I-75 restaurant that has been featured on diners drive-ins and dives, and for good reason. On today's blog we are just going to cover the lunch/breakfast portion of the trip.

   Last year when we all sat down for lunch at Tony's I decided that I wanted the turkey club MmmMm. Since my dad and Jim were also ordering the turkey club my mother decided  that i should share with someone because I don't eat much. So i was told that my Dad and Jim who were sharing a turkey club would also share with me. When the food came I was as excited as everyone else, there was ketchup, salt, hot sauce and napkins being passed around in a frenzy. I held my plate out and moved back and forth with all the food being passed around in hopes that someone would put some of there food on my plate. Somehow I'm still not sure how to this day... I ended up with nothing when I went to Jim for a piece of his sandwich, there was none left. When I turned to my Dad for some of his turkey club it was the same. nothing but a few pieces of bacon left (Witch of course I don't eat.) It was a long and hungry day for me last year. This year I made sure I got some of the Turkey Club and it was as good as i remembered three years ago.

This was the Turkey Club and Half was Mine :)

Dad with his Philly steak sandwich... So happy!

Mom with her SIDE order of bacon... 1 LB of Bacon!

Cassandra enjoying t he side of bacon

Dan's ... Bacon on bread sandwich?!?!?!

Our three boxes of leftover bacon!! Shocking!! 

So that was meal one of the day there is still a lot of story telling for just one day at Christmas town, so I think I'll break it up into different blogs... Stay tuned for the next event of the day from Christmas town and how I made a bet I'm a shoe in to win, and how an older gentleman made my 2 year old nephew cry!

#44

SHELBY

   November 3rd will always be a tarnished day in the lives of the Frescura's. Two years ago today was the day we had to say goodbye to our best friend, favorite family member and our only family pet that made it in our house for over a year. We were blessed to have Shelby in our lives for fourteen and a half years and were given so many good memories from her actions.

HOW IT ALL STARTED
   I had always wanted a dog from the time i could speak i was asking for a puppy. But my parents had always said no until one great trip to Florida. On the way home my mom and I were sitting in the backseat watching homeward bound and crying hysterically, by the time the movie was over my mom had agreed to getting a dog. Shortly after we brought Shelby home from wapool island. Yes that's right Shelby was a native American.

   Shelby brought us so much joy and made us laugh so much, we were always laughing at something she did. There are so many memories and good stories that I could write forever about her but I will just give you the highlight reel to Shelby Yasmeen Steve Blackie Stinkasours Snooter Frescura's life. (She had lots of names, Dad used to get really mad when we changed it to a boys name like the month we called her Steve.)

SHELBY'S TOP 10

10.  If you knew Shelby you knew she was a little... neurotic?! She thought she was a person who hated dogs. I took her to the dog park once thinking it would be good for her. When we got to the park she jumped out of the car excited until she realized this was a park for dogs, she turned around walked back to the car and sat by the door waiting to leave. She wouldn't move from the parking lot.

9. When Shelby was 2 or 3 we took a family day and went to the beach near grand bend. We brought our lunch and air mattress for the water and went swimming. It was so hot that we all spend most of our time in the water as did Shelby. She actually spend so much time in the water using her tail as a router when she swam that we thought she had broke her tail. And again it was another expensive trip to the vets.

8. When my parents had the cottage in grand bend it was really hard to keep Shelby out of the lake seeing as she was a water dog afteral. On a Sunday night when we were packing up to leave Shelby took off and made a mad dash to the lake. When we finally got her out of the lake she was so smelly, dirty and full of sand we made her ride in the back of the truck on the way home. Again if you knew Shelby you knew she was totally spoiled. So after a few minutes of riding in the back of the truck down the highway Shelby decided she had enough of that and decided to climb though the back window and into the cab of the truck, shaking to dry off and sending lake water and sand all over everyone and everything.

7.  Dan and I had been watching Shelby and staying at mom and dad's for a bit while they were away. Stupid us left a snickers bar on the kitchen counter and Shelby decided she would help herself. Well needless to say she had an upset stomach and pooped ALL over the house, every tile on the main floor had a present from her and to make it worse she slipped and fell in it. And to make Dan feel like a real member of the family she even pooped right in his shoe.

GROSS!

6. As Shelby got older her eyesight and hips were starting to go. This made it very difficult for her to get outside down the steps. Dad came up with a great idea and build Shelby a ramp off of the patio door. It worked great and even had rubber matting for extra grip and hand rails (not sure what the point of that was) Only problem was my mom couldn't walk down the handicap ramp. She would always slip, slide and even fall. The best part of it was Dad refused to remove the ramp... As long as Shelby used the ramp it was staying.

5. A sad day was when Shelby had a stroke. Dad had left to do some things in Windsor when Shelby had her first stroke. My mom, sister and I were all crying and laying with her thinking this was the end. Shelby couldn't drink, eat, walk or even stand. Just as Dad had reached Windsor we called him and told him he needed to come home right away that we couldn't even get Shelbs to stand. My Dad drove home in record time and came down to Shelby's room. As soon as she saw my dad, She got up and walked over to him. Something that the three of us had been trying to get her to do for the last few hours. She had a drink of water as per my dads request and even went outside for a pee. It was either a miracle or that dog loved my father so much nothing could come between them... Including my mother.

4. When Cassandra was working at JD's in Grand Bend, she was left with the responsibility of watching Shelby for the weekend. Cassandra took Shelb's downtown for a walk and a swim and even stopped off to get her an ice cream cone. My parents were remodeling the cottage at the time and had just laid down new flooring, hanging the drywall on the addition, putting up new curtains and many many other upgrades. When Cassandra left for work that night she left Shelby behind at the cottege thinking the dog would sleep all night being so tired from her big day. But that was a big mistake. Shelby had seperation anxity. And when Cassandra closed the door behind her all hell broke lose. Shelby went crazy, She chewed and tore apart everyhing she could in the few hours Cassandra was gone. Shelb's literally ripped up the new flooring, placed holes and scratch marks in all the drywall, took out a few screens and drapes. Needless to say my dad was a little upset.

3. When Shelby was a puppy the family went to Windsor for the day. We had the neighbour come over and feed her and let her out. When we got home my sister and I ran downstairs to let Shelbs out of her room but she wasn't there. Worried my dad called out her name and we could hear her barking. She was in the house, We followed the barking and it sounded like it was coming from her room, again we looked in her room but no Shelby. Standing there trying to figure this out, the closet door moved. Shelby had chewed, clawed, ate her way though the wall to get out of her room and ended up in a tiny closet.

 2. After spending a few weeks in Europe with my family I was asked to watch Shelby till my parents came home a few weeks later. On the eve of there return I went to my apartment to check on a few things and when I came back to my parents there was a oh henery bar on the mat at the front door, not giving it too much thought I picked it up and moved on, and then I noticed another oh henry bar, and another and another. There was a trail of chocolate bars all the way downstairs to the storage room. I followed the trail with Shelby jumping and running circles around me. It was once I noticed the Costco size bag of chocolate bars laying empty on the floor, I had put two and two together and realized that Shelby had ate almost the whole bag. Long story short I had to rush her to the emergency vets. The vet kept her over night putting her on an IV and giving her doggie epicak. My parents were due back home the next day by 1p.m. I knew if that dog was not there when my dad pulled into the drive way I was dead. The next morning I called the vet getting the good news that Shelby would be ok, and the fact that she ate half of the chocolate bars without taking the wrappers off is why she was still alive. I was allowed to pick her up anytime after 12pm. I raced to the other end of town grabed the dog and raced home fighting traffic the whole way. I pulled in the drive way got in the house and then heard my parents pull in. I quickly sprayed the dog with perfume and took the bandage off her arm from where they drew blood. I opened the front door and she ran out into my fathers arms. Phew everyhing was ok :).... Then my dad pointed out Shelbys leg was shaved from where they put her IV. OOPS!

1. SHE FRAMED US!
My mother always makes the best chocolate mocha cake, It's the go to cake for our family. My mom had baked one for a work event the next day. It was late at night so she covered the cakes with plastic wrap and left them on the counter to cool overnight. The next morning Cassandra and I were awaken to my mother YELLING for us to get our #$*& @&^$% out of bed and get into the kitchen. Sleepy we walked downstairs to where my mother was yelling and cursing. (I'm going to replace swear words with the word puppy.) Standing in the kitchen we noticed most of the cakes my mom had left to cool were eaten. Shocked my sister and I looked at eachother while my mom went on asking "which one of you puppy kids ate my cake? Now I have no puppy cake to bring into work today! I can't puppy believe this! Don't just stand there which one of you puppys ate it?" Cassandra and I stared and pointed at eachother shocked that the other had ate moms cake. after both of us had denied touching her cake, we examined it closer. On inspection we noticed that not only was there cake missing but someone had eaten through the plastic wrap and there appeared to be claw marks in the cake as if to pull it closer to the edge of the counter. It was the dog who ate the puppy cake ;)

#45

A GOOD TAILOR IS WORTH A MILLION STITCHES

    With the holiday season approaching fast it makes me reminisce about the past years. I think about the Christmas the whole family got cross country skis. (that we used only a hand full of times, we were not the most athletic family and once my mother realized how cold the sport was that was it for the skis.) I think about the Christmas Max had more gifts then he could even open. But its not just Christmas i think about, I have very FOND memories of thanksgivings too. There was the year Cassandras new born baby was hit in the head with a bun, and the year Shelby dove into aunt Marilyn's pond. The year we all drank a little too much and thanksgiving dinner became a "help yourself buffet." Every year aunt Marilyn puts on a great thanksgiving and its never boring. Though this year due to my blog no one would get tipsy in front of me and everyone seemed to remind me why they were all behaving and it was because they didn't want to end up being a part of my blog.

   So I will take the hit, and tell you a true story about my thanksgiving last year on 10-10-10. This wasn't our usual thanksgiving dinner at aunt Marilyn's with the turkey and ham and the mashed potato's with Alex's cake for desert. This year we had a wedding to go to. Jimmy and Ann Kozak are long time friends of my parents and there daughter Joanna is my dad's god daughter, so it was important that we were there at Joanna's wedding.

   A few days before the wedding my mother sister and I all talked about what we were going to wear, suits to the church or dresses? Short or long dresses to the reception? how we were going to do our hair who was driving, so on and so on. After getting off the phone i looked though my dresses and realized i had a Jessica Simpson dress that still had the tags on it and i hadn't worn yet. I bought the dress when i was living in Hawaii and bought it a few sizes too small so i had a goal dress. I took the dress out of the closet fell in love with it all over again and tried it on. I laid on the bed, i sucked "it" in, i used a coat hanger to pull on the zipper i did everything i could to get this dress done up. After several minutes of Dan pulling up on the zipper and me pushing and pulling and sucking everything i could in, I realized this wasn't going to work.

    The next day I bought a new dress in the appropriate size and figured that was the dress i would wear to the wedding. My friend heather came over to see my new dress and while she was there she told me she could let the black dress i bought in Hawaii out and it would fit no problem. I was so excited i didn't even ask questions. A few days later Heather came over with the dress looking perfect and fitting great, it was a little tight in the bum area but, meh it was a hot looking dress i had to wear it.

   The day of the wedding came and i wore a suit to the church and came home in between the church and reception to get changed. i put on my make up i did my hair and i slipped into my little black dress.
The reception was great, the food was amazing i ate something called borchet which is an amazing beat soup i danced the Greek dances, i had a few drinks and i laughed, until the time came to catch the bouquet.

    I should give you some background information on me and the bouquets. Every wedding I go to, I catch the bouquet for some reason. It may be because I'm a little aggressive, it might be a sign that i should get married or its just pure luck/bad luck. Either way that bouquet is always mine!

Getting Ready at Cassandra's wedding

It's Mine!

   When it came time to gather up for the toss, i was right there, for some reason i was in the back of the group and realized with all these single women here i didn't have a chance. The single men at the wedding were gathering up behind the women waiting for the bouquet toss to be over so they could fight for the garter belt. I was being pushed back and forth and doing my fair share of pushing as well and then it happened. Joanna threw the bouquet and it was on. I pushed and jumped into the air reaching for this rose bouquet. I felt it in my hand and then i was pushed from behind and it fell to the floor in slow motion. I watched it hit the floor as if it were an irreplaceable glass vase. before i knew what was going on, i was bent over reaching for the flowers. I felt them in my hand, another success and the bouquet was mine!!! And then I heard it... a big rip. It was the only sound i heard in this huge reception hall. I had riped my dress all the way from the bottom to my bra line. that's right my dress was totally split down the back. As embarrassing as that is you think the story would stop there... but it didn't. I quickly put my hands on my ass to make sure the rip had come from me and the breeze i was feeling on my ass was really because it riped and not because i tucked my dress into my thong. As its becoming clear to me what happened i turned around and realized that all the single men were standing behind me, shocked at what they were seeing. Some smiling some shocked with an open mouth some with a look of embarrassment for me.

   I quickly walked off the dance floor holding my dress together with my hands and went to find my mother, she was on the dance floor drinking... so she wasn't much help. Ann Kozak quickly came over to me and wrapped her shawl around my waist. thank god for shawls. Again you would think this is where it ended but nope. I remembered i had my long dress that i was going to wear to the wedding in my dads truck... what a life saver. I found my dad and asked for the truck keys so i could go get changed in the truck. He told me the number code to open the door to the truck because he let the keys in there so he didn't have to carry them around all night. I quickly walked out to the truck and pressed in the code. it didn't work. I did it again praying it would open but still nothing. I ran back to ask for the code again, my dad followed me out to the truck and spent 20 mins trying to get into the truck .... NOTHING! it wasn't working at all. So inside we go. tracked down Cassandra and got her keys took her van back to my parents house got moms keys from the house and then back to the hall to open the truck. I got changed in the back of the truck and thanked god that i had an extra dress. True story thankfully i don't have any pictures of it happening.

#46

   First off I would like to apologize to my faithful followers I haven't been blogging much, I've been fighting the TMJ and losing. But today I opened a fortune cookie and my fortune read ...
"YOU CREATE YOUR OWN STAGE. THE AUDIENCE IS WAITING."
So even though nothing new or exciting has happened to me lately i figured I should take the advice of the cookie and start writing.

BIT ME!

 A quote from the movie The Switch...
Sebastian: Are you ever scared you could have Parkinson's disease?                                                              Wally: Not specifically Parkinson's disease but, I am not going to lie I have had my doubts of hypochondriac.                                                                                                               
Sebastian: What's that?                                                                                                                         Wally: That's thinking you have diseases that you don't really have.                                                       Sebastian: OMG I have that.


  last week I woke up with a blinding migraine which is usual for me so I wasn't too worried. It was still dark outside and there was a nip in the air. I reached for my house coat and put it on to keep warm. I stretched and yawned and glanced at the clock, it read 4:13 A.M. A little early but when you have nothing to do in a day time becomes irrelevant. I placed my feet on the floor and went to stand up, I fell to the floor with a loud thud. "Well that's new" I thought to myself, reaching up to the bed to steady myself I stood up again. Nope, it wasn't really working. I was leaning to the left as if I had just come ashore from a long tour at sea.
A little worried I did what any normal person would do I dragged my half dead body to the bathroom as fast as i could and pulled myself up to the vanity and smiled in the mirror. "Thank god, a normal smile, I'm not having a stroke."

     I stumbled back to the bedroom like a drunk person with a wooden leg and  woke up Dan. Telling him what was going on he politely asked me if I had been drinking or mixed my medications up.  After reciting the alphabet backwards and attempting to touch my nose he believed me that i wasn't drunk, but he didn't understand what I was talking about when I said I can't really walk and I'm leaning to the left. So up I got again and stumbled around the room hitting various things in the room and coming dangerously close to Dan's PS3 he finally said "oh yeah I see what your talking about I think we should go to the doctors."

   I agreed and did what we all do. I got on the Internet looked up my symptom and self diagnosed myself with an inner ear infection. I did what the "doctor" on the web site told me and took some anti-bio tics and went back to bed. Later that day I woke up with a stuffy nose and sore throat. It was official I had a COLD.
.
   Being around my nephews the week before sealed my faith. they had sneezed, coughed, chewed on my fingers and even threw up in my mouth a little.... I know it was so GROSS!!!!
But they are so cute.

 I sent Dan to the store to get me some cold medications to ride out the illness and he came back with Rexall brand nyquil. If you are a closet alcoholic it is fantastic, If you are cooking or baking and run out of zambucca it will work perfectly. If you are like me and hate zambucca it is not the stuff for you, It will make you throw up!



It's been a few days now and I am feeling a bit better. But if you are reading this and I was with you on thanksgiving... It wasn't me who got you sick I think we all know who the germ carrier here is...

 

How can you be mad at that face :)