Friday, 16 September 2011

100 Days To Go!


    We are now ONLY 100 Days from Christmas. For some of you that is a dreadful thought, for others like me it truly is the most wonderful time of the year. I look forward to Chtismas all year round, I have Christmas cds in my car i have Christmas scented candles placed thought my house and yes I have my Christmas tree up all year round. It is a gorgeous tree that was donated by my loving Aunt Marilyn, without her Christmas in my own house would have presents under my fake palm tree. (I accept all Christmas donations :) )

     It's not just the music and the lights or the long walks at night while the snow is falling and snow crunching under foot while you hold hands with the one you love. The Christmas season is so much for me, it's seeing family and friends that i haven't seen in long time, it's sipping egg nog by the fire, and adding rum to my warm apple cider, it's passing that fruit cake thing that someone always puts out each year and it always seems to be placed in front of the treat i want. It;s waiting for the wish book from sears to come and circle the things i would like. Oh there's some many good memories about the holidays that make me look back and smile and laugh. Let me take you on this walk down memory lane with me.


   When i was younger I was in the church choir, yes i went to church and didn't burst into flames. (but someone did.) I remember i was the second wise man and was caring a candle and frankincense. Walking down the isle in the middle of the Church wearing my dads house coat and a crown that my mom made out of cardboard and tin foil.
I was so nervous having all these people watching us walk up to the front my legs were like jello and i was terrified that when i got up to the baby Jesus I would forget my line of " I bring you frankincense." If I had to do it over again today i would fight for the Gold and say "I bring you a gift of gold ... From Golden Pawn located on Dundas st open late for all your holiday shopping needs."

   But i got a candle and frankincense,  as I was so nervous I started looking around for my parents though the crowds thinking seeing them would calm me down but i couldn't see them i looked to the left i looked to the right ... nothing i quickly turned around and there they were smiling and cheering me on quietly.
   And then it happened a man jumped out of a pew and started beating my friend Johanna in front of me, she was the wise men caring gold, I wasn't sure what was happening at the time till i saw the smoke coming off her fathers housecoat. That's right someone HAD LIT HER ON FIRE!!!!! Well it was no surprise with all those candles around it was almost bound to happen. We made it to the front with a little smoke damage but the show must go on. We did our part and ended the play. It wasn't until after we were having juice and cookies in the lobby that it was reviled that I was the one who lit my friend on fire, yes it was me, when i turned around to look for my parents i accidentally lit her on fire. Well who gives small children candles to walk around with come on :)


    This reminds me of another Christmas story that happened not to long ago in a small city called London. Family and friends had gathered from near and far, we were all laughing and drinking and playing our  Christmas games. This was the first year I was living on my own and was so happy to be home at my parents for Christmas that year. Although my father would always protest and say "why are you staying here you have your OWN home go HOME." But we all know he loved it. lol. The house smelt so yummy with cookies and other goodies that had just come out of the oven. We were all downstairs eating and chatting when we smelt it. Something was burning!!!!! We checked the oven and nothing was in there assuming it was just something burring off that had dripped from the pies we returned to the party. And a few minutes later the fire alarm was going off. So we ran up stairs following the smoke and into the bathroom. And there it was, a candle with a fake flower in it was ON FIRE big fire, calmly i was filling the bathroom cup with water when my mother came in frantic yelling and pushing me out of the way and started beating the flames with some material. I wasn't sure what she was doing this for i had it under control i had the water coming. But my mom did it her way. After the fire was out we all took in a deep breath and were thankful the fire was out it was a Christmas miracle. We all laughed about it and our guests gave my mom props for her fast thinking. On the way our of the bathroom while still laughing my mom handed me MY WINTER COAT!!!! That's right I now lived on my own for the first time, and I have no winter jacket because my mother decided to use it to put out a fire. And it wasn't a little damage there was a burn whole though the jacket and what wasn't burned had quite a bit of burnt soot on it. Good thing i got a new coat for Christmas that year.
But it wouldn't have been Frescura Christmas if something funny didn't happen in that house. :)


    Another Christmas tale takes us to Fort Myers Florida. It may not have been Christmas eve but it was the Christmas season and we were celebrating in the beautiful Florida. After a long day of laying in the sun playing in the pool and making sand castles it was time for dinner. I can't remember exactly what we were having but I know it was chicken that my sister and I were downstairs BBQing and my mom was up stairs making French fries that cassandra and I had asked for.  Anyways a few minutes into cooking the chicken we heard the fire alarm to our building go off, old people were running down the stairs and out of the building with there walkers and cains and they were PISSED! Getting a little nervous that we hadnt seen our parents come out yet we went to the front door to go up and look for them but they were the last people heading towards the exit. My mother looked at us and gave us THE LOOK. You know the look, the look that parents give there children that says im going to kill you when there are no witnessess around. Cassandra and I looked at eachother wondering who it was who was in trouble and what the hell was it we did. Terrified we just stood still looking at my mom, then we saw my dad coming out behind my mom laughing and pointing at my mom.

  My parens came over and in a voice just a little higher then a wisper  told us "this is your fault you two wanted french fries and I had to turn the over on and the over cleaner set off the smoke detector for the whole building so the alarm is going crazy." We had to continue to wishper, as the old people who had to run down all thouse stairs would have stareted a riot or a linch mob against the canadians.  So what do we do cassandra and I asked.  Nothing they replied we'll just go back up in a minute. And thats when the Naples fire department pulled into the complex lights flashing siruins blaring fire men in full gear jumping off the moving truck to get there equipment as fast as they could.

   This is where my parents went over to explain it was just a little over cleaner that was buring off and it set off the alarm were so sorry.
If the old people had things to throw they would have thrown whatever they could have at my parents at that moment. My dad went up stairs to open the door for the fire men otherwise they would have to break it down and charge us with replacing the door. So we gladly went up with them, where we had our pictures taken with the cute fire men and then again outside beside the truck wearing there helmets. Another Christmas miracle.

Thursday, 15 September 2011



   A few days ago we were back in London to do some things and it just so happened that the western fair was going on. Did you how expensive it is to go to the western fair. Well its a lot!
Too much for me to justify going to the fair, unless you get in for free ;) and here's how...
I have a friend who's boyfriend is one of the engineers who's in charge of making sure the rides are all in tact before they turn them on so, my friend goes with her family pass gets two bracelets from the carnies and passes them though the gate then Dan and I chewed some gum from my purse used it to keep the bracelets shut and walked in like we owned the place :)

It's hard to take a pic while running!

 Once your in everything is free want to go on a ride, no waiting in line, don't like screaming kids in your ear ... go on ride all alone :)

Want to play a game go ahead and pay after only if you win so you get your prize. I never thought knowing a carnies would be so much fun lol. This is how I won a 4ft pirate banana for Max.

  Get the ball in the hoop and win a baby look how cute :)

My friends baby Cale, so cute Awwwww.

That concludes part one of how to live good cheap and knocks number 46 off my list, sneaking into the local fair.


Wednesday, 14 September 2011

I am so happy that so many of my friends and family read and enjoy my blog, I truly feel so blessed. My day always begins with me checking comments that people have left after reading my blog and it is my favorite part of the day.

   If you know my sister and I we have a .... Complicated relationship to say the least. So it surprised me the other day when she she commented about my blog being amazing and to quote her exactly...
"That is amazing. However I need to remind you of one thing. Dad said once we have kids he would take us to Disney World again. FYI Disney is expensive, and would be way more fun on Dad's dime. So throw out the birth control and give my babies a cousin and me a niece."

   This comment really made me think, what was her angle? Is it that Dad will be upset that I'm an unwed mother? Does she want me to prove that I can keep a child alive before she asked me to baby sit for a weekend? Does she want me to be sleep deprived and frantic? Or does she just want me to be happy and have a baby?

    Then it hit me! I remember my child hood, I know why I'm afraid of the dark, why I hate small spaces, and throw up when i think about Twinkies, why I'm afraid of heights and why I have a weight problem. I don't like blaming other people for ALL my problems but there are a few people out there who will admit they had a hand in some of these issues.

Lets start here with a fear of the dark, small spaces and why Twinkies make me sick. When i was younger Aunt Carol was babysitting Cassandra and I, and we were downstairs at my parents house playing with our cousin Craig. At the time I was the youngest so I was often picked on.
To make a long story short Cassandra and Craig thought it would be funny to put my desert of a Twinkie into our white wooden toy box.

Me being me dove right in after the Twinkie and when i did that Cassandra jumped on the toy box shutting me in, While Craig was off searching for the crazy glue. Now at the time I was probably 3ish so that made Craig 5ish and Cassandra 7ish. So Craig comes back with the glue and the two of them glue the wooden toy box shut. I laid in the box in the pitch black dark eating my Twinkie and asking to be let out of the box.

Shorty after Aunt Carol called everyone upstairs unfortunately i was a little detained. Cassandra and Craig went running into the kitchen where Aunt Carol asked "where's Ashley?" Cassandra and Craig both looked at each other and replied "oh we don't know." (Knowing they were about to be in trouble.) Aunt Carol went looking for me calling out my name over and over again till she finally heard me call out I'm in here. With which she replied "where is here?" the toy box. She pulled and pulled and tried to open the box but it was glued shut. It took her a few minutes to free me from my toy box coffin but finally I was out and free.

I would like to say that was the last of the mean tricks Cassandra and Craig played on me but it was only the beginning.

Later that year we were all at Aunt Carol's house in London. Cassandra Craig and I were playing when those two came up with another great idea. (You think after the toy box issue someone would have kept a better eye on us or at least me.) I do remember this one a little bit better so I'm assuming I was a little bit older. Anyways Cassandra came up with the idea that Aunt Carol's laundry shoot was the same as a slide.... yes you know where this is going.
So into the basement we go to try and line up the laundry basket full of clothes to the bottom of the laundry shoot. In there defence the laundry basket was on top of a ping pong table. Cassandra and I ran back up stairs while Craig stood at the bottom of the shoot yelling "You can do it" while Cassandra lifted me up int he laundry shoot and gave me a small shove.

I went flying down the laundry shout like a bullet out of a gun. landing in the laundry basket and laughing. Looking back on it I thank god that I did end up in the laundry basket I could only imagine what would have happened if I hit the cement floor.

You would think that this is where torture ends but it doesn't. Our parents used to have to "finish your dinner or you don't get desert" rule. Cassandra Craig and I were sitting at the kids table in the family room at my grandparents house in Michigan, I believe it was thanksgiving or around Christmas time. Either way Cassandra would say "Ashley look its Santa Clause." Me being a Christmas freak would turn my back and look and when I did, Craig would put all his vegetables and left over food onto my plate. I would turn back around after not seeing Santa and think "humm that's alot of food." but none the less i was going to get my desert so i would finish my plate. Then Craig would yell "look its Santa." Again I would turn and this time Cassandra would clear her plate and fill mine for the third time that dinner. Bastards. lol

  But the punches didn't stop there. After all Cassandra was my sister and we did live in the same house.
When there was a thunderstorm I would run into my big sisters room looking for refuge. Having been told once that ligjhtening will hit the trees in our back yard fall onto our house and kill me.

Cassandra came up with the "game" bunk beds. What's bunk beds you ask? Its where I would lay on my back on Cassandras bed and she would put her pillow over my face and lay on top of me like bunk beds lol.
minus the mattress and room for oxygen in between.

Cassandra had a habit of using me for furniture, Couldn't reach something on the top shelve Cassandra would tell me to get on all four and she would stand on my back to reach whatever it was she needed.

There is a lot more but i wont go into it. :) So you have to understand when my sister tells me to do something I have to wonder what's in it for her or why is she telling me to do this lol.
Either way I survived it all and am who I am because I had Cassandra as a sister so I can't say anything bad about it. I'm just thankful that my parents didn't have a younger child because that kid wouldn't have made it with me being it's older sister. lol :)

 I think I'm going to get a shirt made up that says ...


Thursday, 8 September 2011

Thank God For Cheesecake!


   This isn't making it to my list of new things this year, but i thought i would share my stupidity with you. (Yes Aunt Marilyn someone else may need to read this to you.)

   So today Dan and I went to London to do a few things and visit a few people. We went to the doctors went to see a friends newborn baby had dinner with my mom and dad and spent some time with my nephew Max who is getting smarter and cuter by the day.

   Dan and I enjoyed some pasta with my family as per Max's request of  "Noni I want pasta and cake and I want to go for a swim. Well 2 out of three ant bad." We talked and visited and then Dan wasn't feeling so well so we decided it was time to head home. We started with me driving but pulled over at the Woodstock rest stop to get a coffee. Well that was an ordeal in itself. The conversation with me and the Tim Horton's lady went something like this...
"Do you have anything that tastes like pumpkin?"
"What kind of warm smoothies do you have?"
None, It's not time for warm smoothies yet.
"This morning I had a vanilla spice flavor shot in my coffee can I get that?"
Nope don't have that either.
"Oh there's a sign for warm apple cider I'll have that."
All out!
I should have taken this as a sign from above but I didn't and finally settled on a french vanilla cappuccino, and Dan had his usual coffee.
While leaving the rest stop Dan thought he might feel better if he drove so i jumped into the passenger seat with my cappuccino and relaxed.
I sipped on my lovely drink thinking that it wasn't too bad for being my 5th or so choice.
 We were entering Bradford about 20- 30 Min's from the rest stop and Dan and I chatted about our day and what he thought the dogs should be for Halloween, shockingly I was starting to get a migraine so i broke a Tylenol in half and placed the tiny pill in my mouth.
Reaching for my drink i took a small sip of cappuccino foam .... mMmMMmMMMM
I took  a bigger sip remembering a year ago when i didn't take a big enough sip and literally chocked on a Tylenol (yes it can happen and yes i was give the Heimlich... leave it to me to choke on something that small It's because of one of the surgeries I had.)
As I took a big gulp of my drink it hit me FUDGE IT WAS SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I spit it out all over the dash board the windshield my shirt my pants, there was french vanilla cappuccino everywhere.
Dan being him didn't even stop talking long enough to ask what was going on, so i politely told him...
"Shut up I'm dying!!!!"
When I told him what happened he suggested I put my tongue out the window, with that i gave him a look of "seriously what the hell?"
I looked around the car frantically for something to cool my tongue a bottle of water a can of pop anything. But there was no relief in sight, I thought about turning on the A/C and sticking my tongue to the vents, I yelled at Dan asking "WHY IS THERE NO ICE IN THIS CAR?". And then it hit me I was... Correction I AM  a genius.....

 That's right I started licking the window... Why? Because it was 14C out and the window was COOL!!!! And any one of you would have done the same.
I can only imagine what the people passing us were thinking seeing as they could see straight into our car because in my fit of rage to find ice I turned the interior light on. I didn't have a camera to take a picture of myself but I'm sure it looked something like this....

After a few moments the window didn't seem so cold anymore I had to come up with a better plan.
And this is where the cheery cheesecake came in. Mom's have that ability to just know. And my mother had sent me home with left over pasta and half a FROZEN CHEESECAKE, so yes I rested my tongue on the frozen cheesecake and sweet relief was had. Dan wasn't too happy that his piece was in the same container as mine and there wasn't anything but little pieces when we got home,  but he got over it.  And this is why  I'm thankful for cherry cheesecake.

Monday, 5 September 2011



   Several months ago Dan and I were talking about babies, And when we should have one. I said give it 10 years and we would revisit the topic but that wasn't good for Dan. So we decided together that if 3 of our close friends or family became pregnant in the near future (i said 3 months he said a year) we would start trying.
First to screw me over... the award always goes to my sister Cassandra,
who got pregnant with Anthony, not a big deal that's only 1.
Then Dan's sister became pregnant with her second baby which made 2.
I was starting to get a little worried that my womb might house a small child soon but was praying that all of our friends and family just stopped having sex.
But the stallaert's messed that up for me with there daughter Sara getting pregnant with her first baby which made 3.

      So I had to take a stand and tell Dan all the bad things about this deal with the 3 pregnancies. 
Three is the first ODD prime number, and the second SMALLEST prime number... Why do you want our child to be odd and small?
Three is the atomic number for lithium.... It means he's going to be like a lithium ion battery, hes never going to stop its going to be like having an ADD child addicted to caffeine. 
Three strikes in blowing is called a turkey,.. what if he can't eat turkey that would mess up aunt Marilyn's thanksgiving or even worse what if he looks like a turkey? 

Ever hear the saying third man out? Three's a crowd? Third wheel? 
I can't do that to my baby. 
So some how i convinced Dan that it was best to wait till we got to 10, why 10? Because it was more then 3.

The next day i got a phone call from our good friends Josh and Tash to tell us, yes they were expecting yay number 4.
A few days later my childhood BFF Cheryl called to let me know she too was pregnant, and that brought us to number 5. 
I got the news a few days after that another of the Stallaert's were playing lose and fast with my uterus when Jessica, Adam's long time girlfriend/wide announced they are having there second baby. And here we are at number 6. 
While at number six things slowed down and i assumed i was in the clear :)  But while driving in the car with a few friends out to Tash's baby shower our friend Jenn decided that now was the time to reveal that her and her husband are expecting there first baby ... yay ... :) so that bought us to 7. 
Number 8 goes to our landlord and friend Bethany who with her second pregnancy brought us even closer.
And last a girl i went to grade school and high school with had her first baby, a boy who i refer to as...
oh shit number 9.

     It's been a few weeks and were till at number 9 thank god, but i thought i would take Dan around some of these babies to see if he still wanted to try. So we spent the day with our nephews.


    For some reason that made him want a baby more. So the next day off to spend the day with his sister's son Sam. Other then Sam has the loudest scream I have ever heard, it did nothing to derail Dan's dream of having a baby.

So after thinking long and hard about how to get this baby thing out of Dan's head, i came up with idea's such as having my cousin Alex talk to him about how I'm too old to have a baby,  or having my father yell at Dan, collecting all the uncles to "have a talk with him". I even called Dan's mom and told her his plans and she said "Well Mary was an unwed mother."
But then it hit me I had the best birth control there was.

That's right I took him to the toy department at Walmart then the cereal isle and then the children's clothing section all on the last shopping day before school starts. While there we encountered screaming children, kids throwing things at there parents yelling "that's not what i want", kids throwing themselves on the floors in a fit of rage and yelling "I hate you", babies screaming, parents trying to round up more then one child at a time.
So after an hour or so of all this we took our few items to the cashier and waiting in a long long line. Where Dan asked me if i picked up any birth control. :)
My job was done, we couldn't have avoided so much talking and deal making about when to have a baby and all it took was a trip to Walmart.

New birth control and it's free. That's why it makes the list at number 47!