Monday, 5 September 2011



   Several months ago Dan and I were talking about babies, And when we should have one. I said give it 10 years and we would revisit the topic but that wasn't good for Dan. So we decided together that if 3 of our close friends or family became pregnant in the near future (i said 3 months he said a year) we would start trying.
First to screw me over... the award always goes to my sister Cassandra,
who got pregnant with Anthony, not a big deal that's only 1.
Then Dan's sister became pregnant with her second baby which made 2.
I was starting to get a little worried that my womb might house a small child soon but was praying that all of our friends and family just stopped having sex.
But the stallaert's messed that up for me with there daughter Sara getting pregnant with her first baby which made 3.

      So I had to take a stand and tell Dan all the bad things about this deal with the 3 pregnancies. 
Three is the first ODD prime number, and the second SMALLEST prime number... Why do you want our child to be odd and small?
Three is the atomic number for lithium.... It means he's going to be like a lithium ion battery, hes never going to stop its going to be like having an ADD child addicted to caffeine. 
Three strikes in blowing is called a turkey,.. what if he can't eat turkey that would mess up aunt Marilyn's thanksgiving or even worse what if he looks like a turkey? 

Ever hear the saying third man out? Three's a crowd? Third wheel? 
I can't do that to my baby. 
So some how i convinced Dan that it was best to wait till we got to 10, why 10? Because it was more then 3.

The next day i got a phone call from our good friends Josh and Tash to tell us, yes they were expecting yay number 4.
A few days later my childhood BFF Cheryl called to let me know she too was pregnant, and that brought us to number 5. 
I got the news a few days after that another of the Stallaert's were playing lose and fast with my uterus when Jessica, Adam's long time girlfriend/wide announced they are having there second baby. And here we are at number 6. 
While at number six things slowed down and i assumed i was in the clear :)  But while driving in the car with a few friends out to Tash's baby shower our friend Jenn decided that now was the time to reveal that her and her husband are expecting there first baby ... yay ... :) so that bought us to 7. 
Number 8 goes to our landlord and friend Bethany who with her second pregnancy brought us even closer.
And last a girl i went to grade school and high school with had her first baby, a boy who i refer to as...
oh shit number 9.

     It's been a few weeks and were till at number 9 thank god, but i thought i would take Dan around some of these babies to see if he still wanted to try. So we spent the day with our nephews.


    For some reason that made him want a baby more. So the next day off to spend the day with his sister's son Sam. Other then Sam has the loudest scream I have ever heard, it did nothing to derail Dan's dream of having a baby.

So after thinking long and hard about how to get this baby thing out of Dan's head, i came up with idea's such as having my cousin Alex talk to him about how I'm too old to have a baby,  or having my father yell at Dan, collecting all the uncles to "have a talk with him". I even called Dan's mom and told her his plans and she said "Well Mary was an unwed mother."
But then it hit me I had the best birth control there was.

That's right I took him to the toy department at Walmart then the cereal isle and then the children's clothing section all on the last shopping day before school starts. While there we encountered screaming children, kids throwing things at there parents yelling "that's not what i want", kids throwing themselves on the floors in a fit of rage and yelling "I hate you", babies screaming, parents trying to round up more then one child at a time.
So after an hour or so of all this we took our few items to the cashier and waiting in a long long line. Where Dan asked me if i picked up any birth control. :)
My job was done, we couldn't have avoided so much talking and deal making about when to have a baby and all it took was a trip to Walmart.

New birth control and it's free. That's why it makes the list at number 47!


  1. That is amazing. However I need to remind you of one thing. Dad said once we have kids he would take us to Disney World again. FYI Disney is expensive, and would be way more fun on Dad's dime. So throw out the birth control and give my babies a cousin and me a niece.

  2. You need to write a book..this stuff is way too funny (and true)