If you know my sister and I we have a .... Complicated relationship to say the least. So it surprised me the other day when she she commented about my blog being amazing and to quote her exactly...
"That is amazing. However I need to remind you of one thing. Dad said once we have kids he would take us to Disney World again. FYI Disney is expensive, and would be way more fun on Dad's dime. So throw out the birth control and give my babies a cousin and me a niece."
This comment really made me think, what was her angle? Is it that Dad will be upset that I'm an unwed mother? Does she want me to prove that I can keep a child alive before she asked me to baby sit for a weekend? Does she want me to be sleep deprived and frantic? Or does she just want me to be happy and have a baby?
Then it hit me! I remember my child hood, I know why I'm afraid of the dark, why I hate small spaces, and throw up when i think about Twinkies, why I'm afraid of heights and why I have a weight problem. I don't like blaming other people for ALL my problems but there are a few people out there who will admit they had a hand in some of these issues.
Lets start here with a fear of the dark, small spaces and why Twinkies make me sick. When i was younger Aunt Carol was babysitting Cassandra and I, and we were downstairs at my parents house playing with our cousin Craig. At the time I was the youngest so I was often picked on.
To make a long story short Cassandra and Craig thought it would be funny to put my desert of a Twinkie into our white wooden toy box.
Me being me dove right in after the Twinkie and when i did that Cassandra jumped on the toy box shutting me in, While Craig was off searching for the crazy glue. Now at the time I was probably 3ish so that made Craig 5ish and Cassandra 7ish. So Craig comes back with the glue and the two of them glue the wooden toy box shut. I laid in the box in the pitch black dark eating my Twinkie and asking to be let out of the box.
Shorty after Aunt Carol called everyone upstairs unfortunately i was a little detained. Cassandra and Craig went running into the kitchen where Aunt Carol asked "where's Ashley?" Cassandra and Craig both looked at each other and replied "oh we don't know." (Knowing they were about to be in trouble.) Aunt Carol went looking for me calling out my name over and over again till she finally heard me call out I'm in here. With which she replied "where is here?" the toy box. She pulled and pulled and tried to open the box but it was glued shut. It took her a few minutes to free me from my toy box coffin but finally I was out and free.
I would like to say that was the last of the mean tricks Cassandra and Craig played on me but it was only the beginning.
Later that year we were all at Aunt Carol's house in London. Cassandra Craig and I were playing when those two came up with another great idea. (You think after the toy box issue someone would have kept a better eye on us or at least me.) I do remember this one a little bit better so I'm assuming I was a little bit older. Anyways Cassandra came up with the idea that Aunt Carol's laundry shoot was the same as a slide.... yes you know where this is going.
So into the basement we go to try and line up the laundry basket full of clothes to the bottom of the laundry shoot. In there defence the laundry basket was on top of a ping pong table. Cassandra and I ran back up stairs while Craig stood at the bottom of the shoot yelling "You can do it" while Cassandra lifted me up int he laundry shoot and gave me a small shove.
I went flying down the laundry shout like a bullet out of a gun. landing in the laundry basket and laughing. Looking back on it I thank god that I did end up in the laundry basket I could only imagine what would have happened if I hit the cement floor.
You would think that this is where torture ends but it doesn't. Our parents used to have to "finish your dinner or you don't get desert" rule. Cassandra Craig and I were sitting at the kids table in the family room at my grandparents house in Michigan, I believe it was thanksgiving or around Christmas time. Either way Cassandra would say "Ashley look its Santa Clause." Me being a Christmas freak would turn my back and look and when I did, Craig would put all his vegetables and left over food onto my plate. I would turn back around after not seeing Santa and think "humm that's alot of food." but none the less i was going to get my desert so i would finish my plate. Then Craig would yell "look its Santa." Again I would turn and this time Cassandra would clear her plate and fill mine for the third time that dinner. Bastards. lol
But the punches didn't stop there. After all Cassandra was my sister and we did live in the same house.
When there was a thunderstorm I would run into my big sisters room looking for refuge. Having been told once that ligjhtening will hit the trees in our back yard fall onto our house and kill me.
Cassandra came up with the "game" bunk beds. What's bunk beds you ask? Its where I would lay on my back on Cassandras bed and she would put her pillow over my face and lay on top of me like bunk beds lol.
minus the mattress and room for oxygen in between.
Cassandra had a habit of using me for furniture, Couldn't reach something on the top shelve Cassandra would tell me to get on all four and she would stand on my back to reach whatever it was she needed.
There is a lot more but i wont go into it. :) So you have to understand when my sister tells me to do something I have to wonder what's in it for her or why is she telling me to do this lol.
Either way I survived it all and am who I am because I had Cassandra as a sister so I can't say anything bad about it. I'm just thankful that my parents didn't have a younger child because that kid wouldn't have made it with me being it's older sister. lol :)
I think I'm going to get a shirt made up that says ...
I SURVIVED MY BIG SISTER :)
The angle is simple....Remember how much more fun it is when dad pays. lol
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