#36

Hair there everyhair

part II

   Now that we have talked about the hair on my head, Lets venture into body hair. Yeah that's right I said BODY HAIR. It's no surprise that coming from NORTHERN ITALY i was a hairy person.
Hair grows everywhere on the external body except for mucous membranes and glabrous skin such as that found on the soles of the hands, feet, and lips. THANK GOD!

Let's start at the begging. Grade 6 Mrs.Lee's gym class. Being as hairy as i was gym class wasn't so much fun. I came out of the change room in my blue school shorts ready for gymnastics class and all i could think was "I hope my leg hair doesn't get stuck to the Velcro holding the mats together. After that day i went home and again made a plea to my mother to let me shave my legs. I can remember my mom saying something along the lines of "your too young, you don't need to shave its just baby peach fuzz." I pulled up my pant legs and showed her the "peach fuzz". My mom walked away without saying a word and came back into the kitchen with a razor. Up to the bathroom we went for me to get my first lesson on shaving. Only shave up, watch the ankles, never shave dry and don't go up far beyond the knee or you will have to shave all the way up the rest of your life. ( That rule only lasted till i started dating.)
I shaved my legs for the first time and without too much blood shed. I was so happy to be growing up and looking less like a monkey.

Next on the list were my monkey arms, my mom always said oh theres nothing wrong with them they arnt that hairy. Then we had a wedding to go to as a family and i had bought sleeveless dress. finally my mom took me to the mall and had my arms waxed. I had always remembered aunt Marilyn telling me "NEVER SHAVE YOUR ARMS." So i went and had them waxed.

   Next on the list of De-monkey-ising, My eyebrows. The word uni brow was probably made up because of me, I used to have these eye browns that looked like caterpillars crossing my face. So something had to be done about that. At first i would go to the mall and have them waxed but no one would ever wax them thin enough for me. So I decided i would go to shoppers drug mart and get those at home kits that you heat up in the microwave. (I DO NOT RECOMMEND THEM.)
The first time or two i used it, it worked OK it got the job done, Then I was in a rush one day. I threw the stuff in the microwave heated it up and ran into the bathroom to wax my eyebrows. I put a large dab on, maybe the size of a nickle. AND IT WAS HOT, so hot that it burned my face. It took layers of my skin off. there was a nasty looking red and bloody burn/hole on my face right in the middle of my eyebrows. It looked like my third eye had an accident.
It took several weeks for that mistake to heal. Once it did I was beyond nervous to wax my eyebrows again to say the least. So I called in my mom for help. (What was I thinking?!)




I showed my mom the wax and the strips and the how its meant to be used. She gave me a little attitude telling me that she used to do this with Nana and my aunts all the time. She knew what she was doing! So I closed my eyes and let my mom start up the waxing process. My mother, trying to reinvent the wheel though wouldn't it be smart if we put the wax on the wax strip and then put it on the eyebrow  and rip the strip off. i said sure however you want to do it. THEN just as she was about to place this strip full of wax over my entire left eyebrow something clicked and i thought, this doesn't seem right.Thank god I stopped her otherwise i would have had to draw my eyebrow on with a magic marker and start hanging out with the Latino girls at school.

After that you would think my mother would stay away from doing eyebrows, but her  next victim had no choice. My poor father.
Now I wasn;t here to witness this event but this is what i hear from my father. My parents were getting ready to meet Cassandra Jim Dan and I at Michael's on the themes when my mother noticed my father needed to be Man - scapped. So she got out her scissors tweezers and a comb. Again from what my father said, she started cutting and tweezing like Edward scissorshands, there was hair flying everywhere being cut and plucked and then my mom said OOPS. Naturally my dad asked "what OOPS? No oops!!!!" my mother being her tried to cover it up and say its not that bad.... BUT it was. Somehow she had taken off the whole middle of his eyebrow. He looked as though he was just initiated into a gang.
I tried to get a pic of his missing eyebrow but he wouldn't let it happen.

 The eyebrows provide some protection to the eyes from dirt, sweat, and rain. More importantly, they play a key role in non-verbal communication... I guess my mom didn't want him communicating.