Thursday 24 November 2011

#40

E OH CAMELS


Technology and the mature mind!





   As certain family members get older I have noticed how they deal with technology. When my grandfather Frescura was still with us, he had an unusual fascination with phones. His living room was maybe a 15’ X 15’ room at most yet it wasn’t unusual for him to have 3 or 4 phones in that one room. There were lots of times when we would visit and my sister and I had to move phones and telephone wires just to sit on the sofa. As technology advanced my grandfather tried to keep up with the times and bought a clear phone in the 90s, you know the one that had a clear casing so you could see all the inner workings of the phone. That was about as high tech as he got. When the cordless phone came out, he wanted nothing to do with it, though you can’t blame him he did still use bunny ears to get his tv channels. 




   Another of my family members recently had to get a new cell phone due to water damage. As I sat across from said family member I watched as it took her 30- 40 minutes and 4 other family members to add one contact to said family members new phone.
   As my parents are maturing I often wonder how they will get along with new technology. So far they are doing pretty well with only a few hiccups in the road. Apparently my mom was never told that the new I-Phones weren’t waterproof when she put my fathers phone though the washing machine. ( Another family phone gone to water damage.)So she has set my father back in the technology era and has forced him to use his old cell phone that doesn’t allow him to text on. When my dad made the point that it was mom who destroyed his phone and she should give up her I phone to my dad she blamed the apple company and Steve jobs for not making them water proof, and my father for putting his phone in his pocket… What was he thinking?!





   Luckily my mom still has her I-Phone and can still text. LOL. I would like to share with you a little of the texting that goes back and forth from my mother and I. ( I feel as though I am breaking some sort of unwritten confidentiality rule between texters but I figure if you can’t laugh at your family then whats the point of having one.)
   To be able to understand any of this I should give you a little background information. My mother, father and I were in Windsor to support the Woodrich family as they had just lost a member of there family. My mother father and I went to the funeral and then proceeded onto the after …. Hummm not party? Maybe its called a wake? Anyways my parents had to leave to go do things for their new house and since someone better came along (Tony) my parents ditched me and allowed me to go to Bonnie's while we waited for Aunt Marilyn to tie up lose ends and return home . So this is the texting that went on between my mother and I that day.

MOM: Is ain’t Marilyn ok
ME: No shes crying and totally distraught.
MOM: What is wrong. I am so sorry that. I not there o will get back as soon as u can
ME: Shes upset that you left her in her hour of need
MOM: Tell her I will be there as soon as I cam I am sorry
ME: LOL I’m just screwing with you she is doing ok I would say.
MOM: I think he talk to he
MOM: O yelled at youir dad told him he could do this hself
ME: Oh sorry just messing with you, are you there
MOM: No I here
ME: Are we staying in Windsor for dinner people want to know
MOM: Yes I will yell aunt Marilyn I will bring jet ski a good bottle of wine to frost jane
ME: Well that sounds lovely
MOM: Tell aunt. Marilyn that O will come from dinner and I will bring some sausage for gambeling for MOM: dinner does she need anything else?
ME: LOL no I think that’s good.
MOM: E u there
MOM : Hey
MOM: Where r I
ME: Yes im here but im in the pool, floating around with a pina colada I love Windsor.
MOM: What do u mean I r
MOM: On the Pool?
MOM: Q
MOM: What e
MOM: E u wearing and wear is auntaeilun
ME: I mean im in Bonnies Pool im wearing a bathing suit and aunt Marilyn hasn’t come yet were still waiting for them.
MOM: Should I bring food to ninnies or auntarilynp
ME: I think bonnie is going to make dinner for everyone so that aunt Marilyn doesn’t have to cook or clean up after today.
MOM: Ok is it ok with her
ME: Ya Bonnie said that it is ok we can do dinner here for everyone.
MOM: Ok just buying booze store and
MOM: Then on
MOM :My way
ME: Ok see you when you get here.
MOM: 5:51 pm On ec row
MOM: 5:52 pm Is that ok
ME: Yeah I guess so its not my highway.
MOM: 5:53pm Dominion
MOM: 5:54 pm machete
MOM: 5:58 pm Bouchard
MOM: 6:01 pm I am herpes
ME: Lol yes I can see you, you are standing in front of me.

OTHER messages

MOM: I have your medications I pocked it up and put it my purse and didn’t give it to u
ME: Well that was nice. Would you keep insulin from a diabetic or play keep away with a prosthetic from a war amp?
MOM: What?

August 10th 2011 11:49 AM
MOM: I text you this morning from Dad’s phone but I have not heard from you is everything ok?
12:19 PM
MOM: Is your phone out of order? You call me!!!!! I’m worried!!!!
ME: No I just checked my phone you never texted or called me today.

   When I lived in Windsor my mom used to call quite often to make sure I was doing ok being away from home and alone. It was sweet of her. The only problem is, if you don’t return my moms phone calls right away she threatens to call the police beuase she thinks someone has killed me over the night ( Way too much CSI). So mom used to call and leave messages of her yelling saying things like “If you don’t call me back by noon im calling the police this is your mother Ashley you call me I’m worried and I’m serious.”
These threats went on for a week or so, she kept calling and yelling at the answering machine. Until one day she actually listen to the answering machine, and in a very strict voice was a young lady saying “THIS IS NOT ASHLEY”S PHONE I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF HER MOTHER WOULD STOP CALLING AND YELLING AT ME THANK YOU!” That’s right my mother was calling another number and leaving messages about her missing daughter being in a ditch somewhere on the wrong answering machine.




When I moved to Hawaii she used to do the same thing and leave messages saying if I didn’t call her back in 24 hours she was going to call the police. But at the end of the message she would say “And if this isn’t Ashley’s phone… sorry.”

When I lived on my own in London and was not in the mood to talk to my mom because of whatever fight we were in at the moment I would screen my calls and let it go to the answering machine. She would leave messages saying “I know your there, your screening your calls you pick up the phone now or you’ll be sorry.” And sorry I was because she would just drive over to my house and my roommates always seemed to open the door and let her in. lol.





August 31st 2011 11:16 AM
MOM: May e u and dan can help is o. Saturday with some stiff in the basement
ME: What do you mean there is a stiff in the basement? Who died?

September 2nd 2011 3:36 PM
MOM: No I at the hairdresser u have to Melba ASAP
ME: Do you mean call Melba?
MOM: Call Melba at eraaaids office she is looking for I
 ME: Do you mean Call Melba at Dr.Persauds office?

September 8th 2011 12:31PM
MOM: I made some really food sauce with meat last might so we can have pasta or I can add someones sausage and make polenta I can also pick up some prosciutto's and melon is like you that as well.
ME: Ok whatever is easy for you.
MOM: WELL O CAMELS
ME: No idea what well o camels means


September 12th 2011 2:21PM
MOM: Ashley their flight has been delayed they are arriving at 5:00 so I do not expect to get to London much before 8:00
ME: Ok that’s pretty late not sure we will meet you in London tonight then.
MOM: No problem I will keep u fatso
MOM: Not sure what to say to that… thanks I guess.

October 17th 1:43 pm
MOM:Hey tube you be interested in doing with me to our kids Xmas patae we can take max and qantho
ME: Sure anything with Santa clause I’m in.


I commend her for trying and I do have to admit that she has got A LOT better with her texting. It may be because Cassandra and I were laughing so hard reading her texts that she was a little put off. Or she has just got the hang of it. Either way I usually look forward to my mothers texts. 





2 comments:

  1. I died reading this one...hilarous! I remember that day on the deck when we died over your mom's texts about bringing the sausages and gambling to ninnies

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this. I wish mom would text me all the time!

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